Parenting vs Coaching

As a coach I carefully watch each athlete's movements. I keep detailed records of each one of my athletes. I can tell you that athlete R has a goofy elbow, athlete M has horrible shin splints when she runs, and athlete C is never fully confident that she is going to get the lift, even when the lift is over. I can tell you which days in the last year (that they have been training with me) that the athlete was sick and what they were sick with. I can tell you when their anniversary is, and what their favorite pass times are. 

A good coach knows more about their athletes than just their numbers. 

A good coach knows their lives, their stories, their dreams. 

Parenting is no different. 

The definition of a coach is someone who instructs or trains a performer or team. The definition of a parent is to raise, bring up, look after, take care of. Being a coach and being a parent really aren't that different, and yet I struggle more with one than I do with the other.

People ask me often if it is hard to run a garage gym ministry and have two children under the age of two. I will be honest, there are days where it is very challenging. The selfish side of me would love to get through coaching all of my classes without my son interrupting. I would love to get through my own personal training without having to stop to nurse the 4 month old. But that is just my selfish sin nature talking.

When an athlete comes in my gym I ask them how they are feeling, if anything hurts. I ask them about their weekend. I listen to their marriage struggles, personal difficulties, and parenting challenges. 

Do I offer the same dedication to my children? 

Today I was convicted about exactly that. I was trying to coach my beginner athlete class. It is loud, hot, and I am tired from being up with the 4 month old in the middle of the night.   

As I was rubbing my pounding head, my not quite two year old went outside the garage and picked up a handful of crepe myrtle flowers from the ground and brought them to me. Instead of graciously accepting his precious gift, I barked at him to get out of the gym. Seeing his little face fall, as he is still trying to give me his flowers, my heart broke. God spoke to my heart through the big blue eyes of my oldest son. Today God reminded me that my job is to care for, teach, and minister to my family first. I need to remember my calling from God, and not worry about what other people will think. I can't make an idol of coaching exactly the way we would in the classes where there are no children. 

That just isn't reality.  

I had a very wise friend remind me recently that God has given me these precious little boys for a short time, and that time is flying by. 

Lets do a little math right quick:

There are roughly 52 Saturdays in a  calendar year. 

That means that we have roughly 936 Saturdays from the time your child is born until your child leaves for college. 

William is 20 months old. 

We have used up 87 Saturdays of his life already. 

We only have 849 Saturdays left with him. 

That is it.

So now my focus is going to change a bit. 

Don't worry, I will still correct form, I will still be an aggressive coach for my athletes, but secondary to being a godly parent for my sons.

C-Section Saturday: 12 Weeks Post-Op

Welcome to the Farr Fitness' C-Section Saturdays. 

As I have mentioned before I will be using Saturdays to discuss, teach, and learn about C-Section recovery for athletes. Be prepared, some of the information that we discuss will be graphic, but I assure you that I will do my best to cover each topic with the grace of the true southern lady that I am. With that being said lets jump in! 

This post is going to cover weeks 9-12 of my recovery. This last month I have learned a lot about taking care of myself and my family while I'm trying to train. Here are a few of the things that I have learned.

It is July here in North Carolina and it is HOT. The heat index for today is 105. Let me tell you, I feel it.  

I am also relearning how to train through menstrual pain. Having our boys so close together, I didn't have a period between Having William and getting pregnant with Henry. That means that I haven't had to deal with this issue since December of 2013! I had forgotten what it can be like. 

Training when you have a 3 month old isn't easy. In fact it takes everything that I have to get up each day and make it happen, especially on nights when Henry doesn't sleep through the night. 

But, if I don't do it now I will spend years of my life hating my body. 

So for me it really is a question of how badly do I want it? Do I want it badly enough to train when it isn't easy?

Yesterday for example I did my standard strength training and the conditioning workout Rachel, which is: 

6 RFT (Rounds For Time). 

15 KBS (Kettlebell swings) 

1 loop run 

I swung a 25 pound kettlebell American (meaning overhead) 90 times and ran the loop 6 times despite the fact that I was up every hour and half with my son the night before. 

I won't lie to you, it was hard. 

It was ugly. 

I did it in 8 minutes and 25 seconds. Next time that I do it (which will be in about 6 weeks) I want to have it down to 8 mins flat. That is how you train with a 3 month old. You accept that there will be things that you cannot change, like Henry waking up a bunch. What I can control is my willingness to suck it up and train hard anyway. 

So here is the scary part. From here on out I will post up pictures of my physical progress once a month. Part of this is accountability and part of it is to help other C-section moms see what normal looks like. Twelve weeks post C-section, this is what I looked like: 

Weight- 194.3 lbs

Body Fat Percentage- 42.77%
Waist (narrowest point)- 38 inches
Navel- 38 inches
Hips- 45.5 inches
Thigh- 26 inches
Neck- 15 inches
Bicep- 12.75 inches
Forearm- 11 inches
Wrist- 7 inches

I will admit that seeing this is hard for me. But I don't have to stay here. Yes I had major abdominal surgery so I need to train smart and safe You can read the training plan that I am following here.

The real question isn't if I can do it, it is how badly do I want it?

Psalm 139;19 says that "God knit me together in my mother's womb". Isn't it amazing to be a part of the miracle of birth? Isn't it amazing what God made our bodies to do? Your body will look different. Your body will feel different. But your body is incredible and don't you let anyone tell you otherwise.

C-Section Saturday: 9 Pounds & 6 Inches

Welcome to the Farr Fitness' C-Section Saturdays. 

As I have mentioned before I will be using Saturdays to discuss, teach, and learn about C-Section recovery for athletes. Be prepared, some of the information that we discuss will be graphic, but I assure you that I will do my best to cover each topic with the grace of the true southern lady that I am. With that being said lets jump in! 

Can I tell you something that drive me crazy? When people say that they can't afford to get fit. I hear it a lot especially from moms. People have bought in to this idea that you have to have powders, special containers, and pills to get fit. 

That simply isn't true. 

Fitness isn't built on what the magazines and social media tries to tell us. Think about it for a second. How many people do you know selling "health and fitness" stuff. It comes in the form of powders, pills, and "coaching" from people that have ZERO qualifications. They post up pictures of themselves after however many weeks claiming that their powders, pills, and potions made the difference. 

Let me tell you a little secret... 

You don't need it. 

In the last four weeks I lost 9 pounds and 6 inches of fat. 

Guess how many powders I drank? 

ZERO.

 Guess how many pills I took? 

None.

You know what I did? 

I worked out consistently, every single day. 

I ate REAL food, every single meal.

That is it. 

  

This is where people will say, "Cooking healthy is too hard and I can't afford a gym membership". 

Let me help you with that:

Here is a link to our at home workouts. 

These require a jump rope as your only piece of equipment. 

Don't have a real jump rope? use a piece of rope. 

Do two workouts a day four days a week. 

Don't like those workouts? Here is a running plan designed for de-conditioned athletes. 

I started this program 6 weeks after major abdominal surgery. If I can do it, you can do it. 

Nutrition doesn't have to be complicated. Here is my list of 14 healthy crock pot freezer meals. When I  purchased everything on the shopping list it came out to $171.83 for 14 dinners. There were leftovers for all of them so that comes out to 28 meals for 171.83. That comes out to $6.13 per meal for both my husband and me. 

Finally, don't wait. Don't stall. 

If you want to get fit, do it. 

You don't get a restart on this life. 

You will never be younger than you are now. 

Get up, get moving. 

You can do this. 

C-Section Saturday: 7 Reasons to avoid a C-Section

Welcome to the Farr Fitness' C-Section Saturdays. 

As I have mentioned before I will be using Saturdays to discuss, teach, and learn about C-Section recovery for athletes. Be prepared, some of the information that we discuss will be graphic, but I assure you that I will do my best to cover each topic with the grace of the true southern lady that I am. With that being said lets jump in! 

Recently I wrote a post in which I said that I would strongly counsel any woman against a C-section. I experienced a lot of backlash about that post, and I would like to set the record straight. Make no mistake, while I encourage women to recover from their C-sections, I do not encourage women to have C-sections at all. There are several reasons for that, and I'll get to those in a minute but first, have you ever seen a C-section? Go ahead and take a look at this one.

 I'll wait. 

Ok, now that you have that lovely little gem in your mind, realize that was just a short clip. The real deal is not nearly as simple as they make it look on television. 

In the United States of America, the C-section rate is up to 33%. They are having their abdomen cut open, in order to bring a child in to this world. Think about that for just a second. 33% of all women giving birth in the USA are doing so via C-section.  If 33% are doing it, why then do I counsel against it? Here are my 7 Reasons to avoid a C-Section

• A C-Section is a major abdominal surgery. It therefore comes with all the risks of major surgery.   
• The recovery is months to years (depending on how yours went) despite what doctors may tell you. You just put your body through an incredible marathon event (pregnancy) that requires recovery and now you have to recover from major surgery as well.
• That awful pulling you feel on one side of your incision,.. yeah that doesn't ever go away. In fact, you can expect to feel that for the rest of your life. 
• Oh and on the other side you might be like me and experience complete numbness. No feeling, at all. 
• Breastfeeding an infant (especially a larger one!) when your abdomen is cut open is incredibly painful. Many C-section mothers find themselves unable to continue nursing due to the amount of pain it places on their abdomens.
• Despite the work of birth rights activists across the country, the old adage of "once a C-section, always a C-section" is still very true. Just because a VBAC is listed as a service at a hospital doesn't mean that it is encouraged or even really offered to expecting mothers.
• If you notice that baby was puled away from mama just as soon as it was out. That is common practice with C-sections in the United States. I was not able to see either of my boys after they were born until I was moved in to recovery. It doesn't exactly allow for mother and child bonding. 

In conclusion, I am grateful that C-sections exist or my sons and I might not. They are a wonderful tool to save the lives of women and children in danger. However, the use of C-sections to avoid labor pains or to prevent "vaginal stretching" is a gross misuse of modern medicine. Before you allow doctors to talk you in to an elective C-section because it will be easier, please carefully do your own research to determine if that is the right choice for you. If I could go back in time and somehow magically be able to give birth naturally (and safely) to my boys, and avoid the horrific scars and lengthy recovery time, I would.

C-Section Saturday: Getting Back to Work

Welcome to the Farr Fitness' C-Section Saturdays. 

As I have mentioned before I will be using Saturdays to discuss, teach, and learn about C-Section recovery for athletes. Be prepared, some of the information that we discuss will be graphic, but I assure you that I will do my best to cover each topic with the grace of the true southern lady that I am. With that being said lets jump in! 

Normally when a mom says that she is getting back to work after having a baby, people envision a woman going back to an office job of some sort or maybe back in to a classroom. My world doesn't work quite like that. For me, getting back to work means getting back to the gym. 

Don't get me wrong. I have coached while I was recovering, but up until this point I had hardly lifted at all. I had picked up weights to put them away, or lifted the occasional 45 pound bar for a smaller athlete. But that is it. 

I missed it, a lot.  

Brian and I went out in an evening when we didn't have training and he helped me work up to workable numbers for all of our lifts. I was so encouraged at the end of the session. It felt so good to put my body through the movements again. At the same time though, it was SUPER humbling to have to start at 5 pounds on every single lift. 

But, you have to start somewhere. 

So, for all of you other athletes out there, here are my numbers 8 weeks post C-Section:

**********************

I will admit that seeing these numbers is hard for me. 

But I don't have to stay here. 

Yes I had major abdominal surgery so I need to train smart and safe. I have now been training cardio a whole two weeks and this is my first day back to strength training. I know that it is going to be a long and slow road, but I am ready. 

The real question isn't if I can do it, it is how badly do I want it?

Psalm 139;19 says that "God knit me together in my mother's womb". Isn't it amazing to be a part of the miracle of birth? Isn't it amazing what God made our bodies to do? Your body will look different. Your body will feel different. But your body is incredible and don't you let anyone tell you otherwise.

C-Section Saturday: 8 Weeks Post-Op

Welcome to the Farr Fitness' C-Section Saturdays. 

As I have mentioned before I will be using Saturdays to discuss, teach, and learn about C-Section recovery for athletes. Be prepared, some of the information that we discuss will be graphic, but I assure you that I will do my best to cover each topic with the grace of the true southern lady that I am. With that being said lets jump in! 

Weeks seven and eight have been a bit of a blur. I was cleared to train last week so I've been working hard at that. Henry is sleeping through the night (mostly). He typically does cluster feeding from 7-9 and then goes down for bed at 9:30. He wakes up at around 4:30 in the morning and we do a dream feed and he goes back to sleep. At this point it is usually somewhere around 5:30-45 in the morning so instead of going back to bed and awkwardly waking up in the middle of a sleep cycle, I go train.   

Running with a whole bunch of loose skin on my stomach feels pretty gross. I am not a fan of it at all. In fact it was so difficult for me at first that I almost quit running all together. But that kind of defeats the purpose of running doesn't it?!? So, instead I am using these special underwear designed for C-section recovery. My sister-in-law, Dr. Kate is a Physical Therapist that specializes in Women's Health. After my first C-section with William, Kate told me about compression clothing and how helpful it can be postpartum, especially for C-Section moms. I didn't believe her and I thought they were ugly. No way was I going to wear old lady compression clothing....

Now however, I am a convert. 

Don't get me wrong, they are not going to be gracing the cover of Victoria's Secret anytime soon, but they do a great job of helping to pull my belly button to my spine and engage my abdomen. Which makes following my training plan much more enjoyable. I strongly encourage you to consider purchasing at least on pair of these for your post C-section recovery. 

While we are on the subject of training, make sure that you are wearing good shoes and clothes that fit well. The last thing you want to do is fall when you are recovering from a major surgery. 

Here are some of the things I wear when I run:

Underwear- C-Panty
Sports Bra- Motherhood Maternity
Pants- Danskin Capri
Shirt- A tank like these 
Headband- I have thick curly hair, this is a necessity!
Socks- These are great
Shoes- I LOVE THESE SHOES!

So here is the scary part. Ever two weeks or so I will post up pictures of my physical progress. Part of this is accountability and part of it is to help other C-section moms see what normal looks like. Four weeks post C-section, this is what I looked like: 

Weight- 203 lbs

Body Fat Percentage- 44.93%
Waist (narrowest point)- 39.5 inches
Navel- 39 inches
Hips- 46 inches
Thigh- 27 inches
Neck- 15 inches
Bicep- 12.75 inches
Forearm- 10 inches
Wrist- 7 inches

I will admit that seeing this is hard for me. But I don't have to stay here. Yes I had major abdominal surgery so I need to train smart and safe You can read the training plan that I am following here. 

The real question isn't if I can do it, it is how badly do I want it?

Psalm 139;19 says that "God knit me together in my mother's womb". Isn't it amazing to be a part of the miracle of birth? Isn't it amazing what God made our bodies to do? Your body will look different. Your body will feel different. But your body is incredible and don't you let anyone tell you otherwise.

Violence in the World, What Do I Tell My Kid?

A question came up recently among my friends of what do you tell your children about what is going on in the world?  In recent months there have been horrific attacks both at home and abroad. Abroad the attacks have been perpetrated by Isis and are clearly evil. Here in the United States however, the lines have been blurred, especially in the Christian community. 

When the LGBT night club in Orlando was attacked there were Christians mourning with them and so called "Christians" saying it was deserved. As a conservative Christian I want my boys to know that it is NEVER acceptable to hurt another person because they believe something different than you do. The Christians that were mourning with the LGBT community were right. God cares about even the sparrows (Matthew 6:26) Of course he cares for those that were killed in that senseless attack. The "Christians" saying that they deserved to die were incredibly wrong, and shouldn't call themselves Christians. Christ says to "love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31) he doesn't say, "love your neighbor if you agree with their lifestyle choices". 

Most recently it has been the racial/police issue. This topic is an incredibly delicate one. Tempers on both sides of the line are flared and things are quickly escalating. I will confess, I am a white female that grew up in the VERY conservative south, so I cannot pretend to understand the plight of the black male. That does not mean that I think they deserve to die unjustly. My heart breaks for the families of the men that have been killed unnecessarily. Were they killed unjustly? I don't know. That is for a jury to decide after hearing all of the evidence. But just as I know that not all black men are criminals, I also know that not all cops are bad. In fact, 99% of cops are good men (and women) out to protect us from the bad guys, just as 99% of black men are good members of society that have a great deal to bring to the table.  

So what will I tell my boys? 

Murder is a sin, and it is wrong, no matter what. (Exodus 20:13) God has called us to be set apart. So rather than giving in to all of the race baiting, on either side, we should be standing up and saying enough. This division among Christians makes us weaker and less effective in our ministries. 

Enough hatred. 

Enough evil.

Our mission here on Earth is to bring Him glory and make Him known to all the world (Mark 16:15). It is hard to do that if we are killing each other off because we don't look the same. 
Jesus did not die on the cross for our skin color, sexual orientation, or political ideology. Jesus died on the cross to absolve us of our sin, so that we can be with God the Father in eternity. We are all children of God, skin color doesn't matter.   

C-Section Saturday: Trolls and Giving Up

Welcome to the Farr Fitness' C-Section Saturdays. 

As I have mentioned before I will be using Saturdays to discuss, teach, and learn about C-Section recovery for athletes. Be prepared, some of the information that we discuss will be graphic, but I assure you that I will do my best to cover each topic with the grace of the true southern lady that I am. With that being said lets jump in! 

After having my C-section recovery stuff up for a while now I have received a lot of feedback. Some of it has been positive and encouraging (thank you gym ladies!) and some of it has been truly awful. When a group of internet trolls found my blog they left a bunch pf hateful comments here on this page and on my personal blog I have heard comments like, "You should be ashamed of yourself" "Hideous" "Lost cause" "disgusting" and worse. 

I will confess, it hurt my heart deeply. In fact, I almost stopped my project all together. However, after a lot of prayer and I talking with B and one of my favorite mentors, I was left with a choice. 

Do I go on and continue writing to encourage and uplift other C-Section moms, or do I stop because some lonely, miserable people said the exact things to me that I am fighting against? 

The answer is: I will continue. 

I will continue to write and document my recovery because I believe in my cause. 

A c-section is a horrific, barbaric surgery that literally cuts your body in half, but it is also a life-saving necessity for some of us. It is a gift that allows us to get to experience our children, and continue to live when 100 years ago we would not have been able to do so. That is not to say that I would recommend it. In fact, having experienced two C-sections first hand I can honestly say that I would strongly discourage any woman from having a C-section unless it was a medical necessity. This is not to "shame" anyone but rather to acknowledge the seriousness of major abdominal surgery and the amount of recovery that is required from it. 

That is why I believe in my cause. Because you can recover from it, no matter what anyone else says. 

I believe that every single woman that has had a C-section deserves to know what it will be like. She deserves to see what her body will be like. She deserves to know that she is not alone. I will continue to write so that other athletes, other women will be able to say, "I know I can do this, I have seen it done". 

C-Section Saturday: 6 Weeks Post-Op

Welcome to the Farr Fitness' C-Section Saturdays. 

As I have mentioned before I will be using Saturdays to discuss, teach, and learn about C-Section recovery for athletes. Be prepared, some of the information that we discuss will be graphic, but I assure you that I will do my best to cover each topic with the grace of the true southern lady that I am. With that being said lets jump in! 

Weeks five and six have been good. I got my incision checked again and so far it looks a lot better. I am getting up and down the stairs like a champ. I am going grocery shopping with both boys. I am getting William (yes, 34 pound William) in and out of is crib on my own. I know this is a little sooner than expected but when you are an Army wife, you have to learn to improvise. With Brian having some special training this week he just can't be here to get William so we are making it work. 

When you have a C-section your skin that normally hangs down over your abdomen after birth can become problematic. Since it is heating up keeping my incision clean and dry is super important. My doctor told me to buy this soap and to use in specifically on my incision. When he first said it, I thought he was crazy but he says it will help everything "stay the wt it is supposed to". I'm taking his word for it and giving it a shot. 

I am able to walk more and for longer duration, but pushing that double stroller around is NO JOKE. Bracing my abdomen on the turns seems to be the hardest part. That, and the fact that one of my two seems to hate our daily walks. Does anybody have any tricks for helping kids to enjoy the infant carrier? 

So here is the scary part. Ever two weeks or so I will post up pictures of my physical progress. Part of this is accountability and part of it is to help other C-section moms see what normal looks like. Six weeks post C-section, this is what I looked like: 

Weight- 210 pounds

Body Fat Percentage- 47.56%
Waist (narrowest point)- 41 inches
Navel- 42 inches
Hips- 47 inches
Thigh- 27 inches
Neck- 15 inches
Bicep- 12.75 inches
Forearm- 10 inches
Wrist- 7 inches

I will admit that seeing this is hard for me. But I don't have to stay here. Yes I had major abdominal surgery so I need to train smart and safe. I will soon (NEXT WEEK Y'ALL!) be cleared to start training (lightly) again! I will be sure to post up the workout that I am doing soon.  

The real question isn't if I can do it, it is how badly do I want it?

Psalm 139;19 says that "God knit me together in my mother's womb". Isn't it amazing to be a part of the miracle of birth? Isn't it amazing what God made our bodies to do? Your body will look different. Your body will feel different. But your body is incredible and don't you let anyone tell you otherwise.

Happy 4th of July!

Welcome to the Farr Fitness' C-Section Saturdays.

As I have mentioned before I will be using Saturdays to discuss, teach, and learn about C-Section recovery for athletes. Be prepared, some of the information that we discuss will be graphic, but I assure you that I will do my best to cover each topic with the grace of the true southern lady that I am. With that being said lets jump in! 

I know that it isn't Saturday, but this does relate to my C-Section, so we are going to go with it. 

Today is a hard day for me. 

Our gym is dong an awesome 4th of July workout that I really wish I could take part in. 

Obviously I am still not cleared to lift things overhead yet which means I cannot do the BEAR complex that is programmed. 

So this morning I got up and got my elliptical (it was raining so I couldn't go outside to run) and did my training for my 5k. It isn't where I want to be, and that is ok. I don't have to stay here. Each day that I choose to get up and train is a day closer to being able to get back to the barbell. 

Soon... 

Psalm 139;19 says that "God knit me together in my mother's womb". Isn't it amazing to be a part of the miracle of birth? Isn't it amazing what God made our bodies to do? Your body will look different. Your body will feel different. But your body is incredible and don't you let anyone tell you otherwise.